I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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