this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
