What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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