i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
