im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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