went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
