Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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