How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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