i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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