and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
