I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
