And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
