This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
