Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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