So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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