ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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