Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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