he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
