I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
