I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
