her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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