You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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