Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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