Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will pee on everything he values.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
