You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize