Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
