no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
