I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
