Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
