Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
