Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize