i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
