Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
