Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
