UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
