i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize