Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize