What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
