You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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