Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
