She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
