If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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