I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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