Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
