I got chris browned last night
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
