dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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