He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
