party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
