the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
