she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
