whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
that is very illegal...i love you.
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