weddingsv make me drug and hornr
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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