did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize