I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
