It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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