okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize