Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
