wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
