So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
