We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So vagazzling was a success
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I enjoy the company of your penis
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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