Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
