It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
