Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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