well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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