About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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