Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
