Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize