I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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