Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize