I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
