I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
