it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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