I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
