dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
