You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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