the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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