yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
