I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize