Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
